Examination & nearing the end of ninth semester

Assalamu’Alaikum & Good Day Everyone (^_^)

Been busy lately since the month of final exam is just around the corner. All of the diploma students will be starting our final exam on the 2^nd of October 2012. I hope to nail this one because if I fail I have to repeat another semester. I certainly don’t want that to happen. My last hurdle for the ninth semester is Economics and Accounting.

Alhamdulillah, things are getting better but tough at the same time. I don’t mind since I like challenges. The thing is, I have to put in extra more effort to get my CGPA up. (Sigh). I know it’s not going to be an easy one but hey, it’s better to do something about it rather than nothing. All my life, I never achieve something great unlike all the people inside my life. All in all, it takes passion and mostly effort. I do not want to be labeled as the senior who repeated again and again in my life existence! I also want to be like everyone else.

I envied others but in a good way. Few of the people in my life had already achieved their dreams. One of them was in the same tuition school as I was. He now studied medicine and will be a doctor soon. Another one is now a assistant director of a company and it hit me when we use to fool around when we were kids! My sister had already started degree and is in her second semester. Plus, she’ll be assisting her faculty club soon. Dunno what post will she get but that’s an achievement. Not many can get a post especially in faculty clubs let alone if you are a repeater.

Two weeks left before my class for this semester ends. Time files when you are having fun and being busy. It feels as if yesterday I came back again at campus. Within these two weeks, I am staying with my friend. They have been so friendly and I thank them all from the bottom of my heart. May all of us pass our examination this semester with flying colors.

Accounting class is not really boring. It just needed a little bit of a twist. One time, I tried so hard to stay awake and try not to look bored. The lecturer stopped lecturing and asks the students…

“Okay, who’s feeling bored, raise up your hand.” He said. Everyone looked at one another.

I accidentally said …“What?” He turned to me.

“Are you bored?” He asked. I said nothing and pray that he did not notice that I was actually sleepy just now.

“You, stand up.” He said to me. I stood up and feeling rather nervous. Shit! I’ve done it this time. of all days, why today?

“You go and run quickly to the canteen and buy me some refreshment.” He said. I stood there rather blankly. He said what now? I already notice that the students in my class were giggling in a low voice.

“What drink do you want me to buy sir?” I asked him.

“Iced Milo and make it quick.” And with that I ran to the canteen and bought him one. Luckily he was the one who gave the money if not, I had to pay. Speaking of payment, the drink cost RM1.40 but he only gave me RM1.00. I had to run back to the class and demand 40 cents or else it will be on my head. (Sigh). 

 

Ah well, another memory to add into my memory box.  From here onwards I promise myself that I will try to stay awake in class regardless of how boring the teaching may be. (-_-‘’). Economic class is going rather smooth but I must say that we apparently will not be having a new lecturer since the semester is coming to an end. YAY! Our old lecturer is still around and it is good news for me since I like the way she teaches. It makes me understand better about what I am learning. I'm so going to win this game!

Determine to win this battle!!! Gambatte!!!

Anyways, I may not be blogging and writing for a while since I want to focus more on my upcoming final exams. Insya’Allah, I will return after the examinations over. I I can nail this I can finally go for my practical training!! Speaking of practical training, I already submitted my resume to the previous organization where I once work (for about a week) but after that, I changed my mind and add another one just in case if the first one does not have any vacancy in their department. All in all, I pray that may everything goes well. I really2 want to end this and move on with my life…

Me in studying mode..eh? bukan online ke? ...:p...pfft..hehe....

Wish me luck and pray for me everyone (^_^)….

Till then dear readers!

Wasalamu’Alaikum….

咲くバラのつぼみ...

Assalamu'Alaikum & Good Day dear readers :)

Going back to campus after the holidays is not really my thing but guess what, we have at least four more weeks left before the big examination. (((O____O)))...Argh! so not to my liking...
 

\Anyways, the lecturers and students will be very busy within these few weeks since we all need to cover up all chapters before the final exam. Not to mention, i have to submit my resume. I can't believe it! four more weeks and two hurdles and i'll be free again. Well, um...not entirely...hehe. I still have one more semester to go and that is continuing my practical training.

There is a catch there though. Now, we've all have those days when we're stuck between two choices or more. Well, my choice is not like any average kind of choices. It's like choosing between a roasted chicken and a watermelon. The thing is, I do have the intentions to continue back my practical training at my previous company but going to another place seemed to be more interesting. Even if its just one week, i seemed to understand the concept of my previous company. Don't get me wrong, i love that place very much but...my heart seemed to tell me to move on. Besides, its no guarantee if they immediately picked you to work for them again anyway...I just send my resume...small chance of success...wallahualam....

To be on the safe side, i placed in another organization in which i want to undergo my practical training. Although the place does sound a little oblivious to me but having five years of experience of what i encounter and learn in campus, I'll think I'll be just fine. I like learning and experiencing new things. I longed for an adventure and i know that the working world is not like what it seems. I entrust everything to Allah Taa'la for he holds the best provisions for us. Bertawakal dalam hati....


Anyways, this is all that i can write so far. I may go on a hiatus for a while because i want to focus on my upcoming final exam next month. Don't worry, i'll update again soon..:)

Till then dear readers!

Wasalamu'Alaikum...:D

 

Days with you.....

Assalamu'Alaikum & a very Good day every one....

Sorry for not updating for a while. First of all, I would like to wish Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin to all muslims who is celebrating Hari Raya..(-.-,) May Allah Taa'la bless us during this month of Syawal & may this month brings many good tidings to all....

Many things have happen during the Ramadhan month and it prologue until now. I had to go on a hiatus for a quite a while due to many reasons. Few of them was because my grandmother's health was deteriorating...It's a bit sad actually because she passed away last moth.....

My life has never been colorless until she passed away.... Being the last person to nurse her and to feed her, i left a mark in my broken heart. I always take turns with my family to nurse her. Forgive me if i'm wrong but teenagers or young adults these days probably think that taking care or nurse the elderly is a burden. Its not. Never!. I enjoy taking care of my late grandmother the most....

I miss her, i really really miss her. During weekends, my family would always visited her. I usually can't because always stuck with campus activities. Everytime when she is admitted to the hospital, i always volunteer to take care of her. Because i am always in campus and my class schedule is pretty tight, that's why i always take this opportunity to be with her. The day before she died, i was reluctant to go to class. The class was quite important because its one of the final subject before i can graduate. The topics covered that day was really important. That morning, i bought her some porridge that i bought from the shop inside the hospital. Didn't think that was actually her last meal... She enjoyed it..

I told her that i don't want to go but she said that i must go. Her love for knowledge is endless and that is one of the very few things she reminded to us before she died. She told me to study and go to class. As i waited for my mother to arrive and pick me up, the doctors and nurses arrive to check up on her. Its not that i hate them but the way they place the branula here and there trying to search for blood flow really made my heart fall into pieces. Hey! THAT'S MY GRANDMA YOU PLACE THE BRANULA AT!!. How can i not be sad. I was silently crying from afar as i watch them do their work. I cannot take it anymore. I wanted to stop them very much but if not, who knows what can happen. My late grandmother's hand were swelling at that time. they had to change it but they could not find any blood flow.

My mother came after that. I went to class with a heavy heart. I took a peek at her from the outside to make sure that she's well asleep. That was the last time i saw her in that state before she was transferred near the front desk. The sound of laughter and happiness in class made my heart even more tense as i cannot focus as my thoughts were only toward her. Is she doing well? is she sleeping? are the doctors putting inserting the needles and other medicine to her? what if they did it wrongly? ARGHHHHH! somebody hit me please!!!!!

My class finishes at four but my mother finishes her work at six. So, we headed down to the spring to break our fast. I was in the middle of eating my food when i receive a phone call from my cousin that my grandmother was gravely ill. We quickly rushed to the hospital as soon as possible. I did not care about my food anymore. My grandmother was my top priority. As i arrived at the hospital the guards held me off as visiting time is over. I accidentally blasted my anger to them and said, "Excuse me! but my grandmother is dying up there!!! Let me through!!!".

My family and relatives stayed at the hospital that night. We take turns as we go along. I did not stop reciting Surah Yassin to her. We whispered the kalimah shahadah. One thing though came across my mind, it was last ten days of Ramadhan. All that i can say is, her death was a blessed one from Allah Taa'la. She died during the month of Ramadhan,  exactly within the last ten nights of Ramadhan month. I went back home at nearly three fifteen. My uncle stayed at the hospital to look after her.

I was so tired and my body was aching. I did not want to go to sleep but my eyes were already giving hints and warnings. That morning, only me and my mother went to the hospital as it was our shift. Many relatives came, including my sister's roommate's father. ( We actually know that she was related to us last semester! How could we not know?) My sister's roommate's grandmother is my late grandmother's elder sister. Talk about family tree. I've known her for three years and only now i know her as my second cousin.(((O_O)))...
 At 11:00 her heart beat began to go below 30. I dread that the most. It was getting lower and lower by the hour. We never stopped reciting and whisper the Kalimah Syahadah to her.

What happened is the will of Allah and to him we will return....

At 12:30 p.m. 11th of August 2012, my beloved grandmother passed away. It was sad to let her go. Even today, I can still feel her around me. The colors around me started to fade. She was my world and a wonderful companion. I love her with all my heart. One thing that I'm glad about is she died in a very peaceful way. Her face was calm..very calm and it looked like she was smiling down upon us. She was buried after the asar prayers. Luckily, the funeral finished early because it started to rain.

All that has happened was quite a bang for me. The day after my grandmother died, my grandparents from my father's side will be going to perform their umrah and will be back after raya. Such a lonely raya this year is....

On the first day of Hari Raya, My family went to visit the grave of my families that have gone before us. Something odd but rather happy actually.... After my cousin visited my grandmother's grave along the way before she went to her parents grave, she saw a small yellow butterfly. What amazed us is that small butterfly appeared inside my late grandmother's bedroom on her bed. We guessed that it must've followed us along the way. My cousin said that when a small butterfly came inside your house it means that a loved one is coming. Wallahualam....My aunt says that my grandmother wanted so much to celebrate Hari Raya with all of us and i think she did. The butterfly flew all around the room and then landed on my mother's shoulder. after that it landed on my aunt and then flew all around my sister's head. Hehe..she's happy....:')

Being the last person to take care of her was a memory that i will carry with me till the end. My late grandmother was a wonderful woman and no one can replace her. My days with her is one of the memories i will keep with me in my heart. Her last wish for me is to be a better person. Do not be unjust and never do evil things. Always be humble and care for others. Besides that, she wants us to be proactive and fast and do not be cheated by time... She's always cared for others and is a great motivator. I pray that may Allah Taa'la bless her soul and may Allah Taa'la place her among the pious people...Goodbye grandma

Al-Fatihah.... 

My grandmother in her late teens. The picture is courtesy of my cousin.

The Queen of our hearts =D... She is of Melanau descendants

The last picture of her i took on the day before she died...

Till then dear readers....

Wasalamualaikum....

Mumble this..mumble that....

Assalamu'Alaikum & good day dear readers(-.-,)...

First of all, I apologize for not updating. Its been a while and my time to be busy has just begun. Assignments have already flooded me and its not an easy one to finish. Especially if it concerns calculations. Yep, I admit that i'm a little poor on that side but nonetheless, i love the subject. =) Its fun!.

Last week and this week i receive news from my ECO120 lecturer that she will be leaving soon. I had so much fun learning from her and it pains me to see her leave. This our class also receive news from my ACC100 lecturer that he'll be leaving as well. I also had fun learning with him. The way both lecturers teach is one thing. My concern is how will our class adapt to the new lecturers. I thank Allah Taa'la very much for all the blessings of knowledge that he gave to me. Alhamdulillah, learning accounting and economics have been smooth lately. I use to hate the subject and now, with the help of my current lecturer, things are better.

Learning has become a little uncomfortable these days. Not because of the subject but the new lecturer...well, the way he speaks makes me yawn...seriously. Most of us in class tried to stay awake in his presence but ended up with our eyes half closed. I respect him very much but come on, please make learning more interesting. Sometimes, failure is not only occurs because of not paying attention in class but how the person teaches also affects the marks.

If things keep up like this at this rate, I'll be seeing ACC100 again next semester. NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN)

Well, that's all the ramblings that i can jot down for this post....

Wasalam....

Salam Ramadhan...

Assalamu'Alaikum & Good Day dear readers(^_^)...

For starters, please forgive me for not updating for so long. I've been busy lately due to studying. Even though its only two subject, the learning itself is hard and intense. I do not want to repeat anymore and that is why i have to struggle to complete it all. Alhamdulillah, the learning in class is more steady. I dare not to say it too much or else. I'm thankful for Allah S.W.T for everything. Most of my revisions and studying becomes a bit lighter compare to last semester. My lecturer is a strict one. I like that. It gives a person to be more discipline and more importantly, self-control.

I have one sad news as well. My friend's father had passed away this week. I pray to Allah that may He blessed my friend's father's soul. May he be among the pious people. Al-Fatihah....

There is not much things to say. My view here in campus is still the same as usual but rather quiet. My sister and cousin, had just finished their semester and is currently enjoying their holiday. I on the other hand experience the opposite. No matter, I'll finish my semester soon too anyways, Insya'Allah. Usually I'll be in my sister's room right now but because i have no hostel room i am forced to spend my time around and around the campus. I don't mind really but what i do mind is why on earth the university enrolled so many students. Its not that i am against it but please, pity those who came from other countries and cannot get a room at the hostel. I feel like i want to build a tent in the middle of the football field right this instant. (T_T)...

I want to rent a room outside of campus but the fee is just too much. Plus, i have enough financial problems to deal with. All i can do is be patience. Moreover, the month of Ramadhan will come in three days time now. I am so looking forward to it (O.O,). Speaking of Ramadhan, i missed my friends whom i use to have my iftar with. Those were the wonderful days. Now, it seems my Ramadhan gotten a little somber. My grandparents along with my aunt and her family will be going to perform their Umrah soon and they will not be back until the end of Hari Raya Aidil Fitri....


Looks like it will only be me and my family then. Its so quiet....This may be my first Ramadhan and Hari Raya without my grandparents with me. Usually, during the festive holidays, on the first day or Raya, our family would gather at the main house. The elders and grown ups would gather at the living room and all the grandchildren would seek forgiveness from each other. The small kids get a green packet which has money in them. I am no exception..hehe. After than we will gather for a family photo.... To think that we'll be missing those traditions....but i believe Allah has more plans for all of us more than we have plans for ourselves. I wish my grandparents, my aunt and her family a safe journey. 


I finished a drawing that my supervisor back at the department where i had my practical. I'll be colouring them soon and will email it to her before the first day of Ramadhan. I missed them all. I missed my station, the pantry where i use to have tea, I missed the view photostat machine(erk? hehe...) No worries, Insya'Allah, if Allah S.W.T wills it, I'll be back again. I so want to finish everything. No rush dear one...no rush. Just let everything go with the flow....


I'm rather surprised plus curious that our lecturer did not call us like last year when we were asked to make our resume as they will post them to the selected organization like usual. Perhaps later...maybe. I try not to worry too much about things. I'm going to focus more on my studies from now. Its a long road ahead. I'm no longer afraid of things. In Allah Taa'la i trust and only to Him i place my faith into...May the journey ahead brings more of His blessings to all of us.

Lastly, i want to wish all my dear muslim brothers and sisters of whom i love because of Allah S.W.T, Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan !(^_^) May Allah Taa'la bless us all during this month. There are a lot of good things and try to gain as much deeds and knowledge as we can during this month. Perbanyakan doa dan muhasabah diri jugak ye...


Here is a few warm ups that you can do before and during Ramadhan month:

This is not only useful for Ramadhan month only but you can apply it in your daily life as well. X kan nak jadi muslim yang alang-alang kan?..:)
 
Till then dear readers....

Wasalamu'Alaikum...

Practical Training...Supp Paper & the list goes on

Assalamu'Alaikum & Good Day dear readers...(-_-)....

This post is going to be a bit long as it will cover some of the things that happened in a while....

It has been a dream of mine to finish my diploma ever since i started this course. But Alas, Allah has more plans for me than i had for myself. In fact, i almost lose hope like things were never meant to be...Who am i to judge what is going to happen and who am i to defy. O Allah, please forgive me for all the past sins that i have done for your blessings is the only thing i seek....

Last week, I was so worried regarding my supplementary examination result was not yet out. This is because if my supp paper result did not turn out like it seems, i have to go back to campus to repeat another semester. I MOST DEFINITELY CANNOT TAKE THAT!!!! Either way, i want to end this...i really, really do. Too long i have been stuck in a cage (Campus). I call it a cage because it suits the title. I never really had a good university life...much.

Back to the story, when i called my lecturer and inform her my problems, she told me to just go to the organization and go for practical training. I did as i was told even with a worried heart. What will become of me there? the dreadful thing that i was thinking i hope not to make any mistake on my first day. I arrived around 7:30. I had to wait for a while until my friend came so that wee can go to report ourselves together. The place where i applied is the place where my grandfather used to work. I sort of followed in his footsteps. Me and a friend of mine report ourselves at the Human Resource Department. My friend got the post at the Higher Education Department  which is at level one and I was placed at the Quality & Practical Department, that's on level 2 of the building. 

This is the compartment where i sit. To tell you the truth..i missed it dearly...

We were given a tour around the building and then we went to our designate department. My Department was probably the happiest place where I've ever worked. The whole level was like a one big department. Besides the Quality Department, there was also the Human Resource, Financial and Public Sector & Corporate department on level 2. The boss office is in front while the workers have their own compartment. I was placed at the end of the room. To my surprise, my table was the only one facing behind unlike the others. That compartment of mine was very near to the pantry and the exit door. (Between you and me, I love my place very much). In front of me was a photostat machine. behind me was Mr. Jeff and on my left was Mr. Nizam. In front of him was Kak Mim. On my first day, i did not know exactly what i was suppose to do.

Luckily, Kak mim, one of the workers kindly show how things are handle here in the office. I got along well with the others. It felt nice to have companions once in a while. I'm not the type of person that concerns myself with people much since I've always been much of a recluse. But its practical training, i have to cast that lone ranger attitude and start mix with others. Kak Mim is one of the Quality and Practical Department workers including, abg nazriq, and Kak Qam. My supervisor is Puan Intan. My first impression on her, who is this beautiful lady? really, i cannot believe she is a mother of two and 35 to boot!((O_O))...wow. Next to us is the Public and Corporate Department headed by a senior who was once in the same university as i am. The people in the office were very nice and wonderful indeed & i enjoyed my time there.:D

Alas, What happen is the will of Allah and only He alone is able to make miracles happen.Whatever happens, i was thankful for it....Alhamdulillah...Truly...deep in my tiny heart...I am truly incandescently happy and content to Allah S.W.T for everything. For the first time in my life, I felt myself having another reason to move forward once more. This is something that i like to call happiness of a dream.

One thing i know though, All these years, I never stopped praying.... I always pray to Allah S.W.T that may one day we meet again.  

Everything happens is the will of Allah S.W.T. and they each have their own purpose. I believe, our meeting again has its purpose too. Alas, i was caught with the flow of time and my supplementary paper, well, i failed. Due to that, i have to go back to campus and repeat another semester. Only Allah S.W.T knows how much it broke and tore my heart to pieces. There were times i felt like quitting but....i have a dream!!

I got this far already and i want to end this. I don't want to cry or weep about how dull and stupid i am. I'll turn this problem into an opportunity to fix myself. I'm going to be better because i don't want to give up.This is Allah S.W.T trial for me and everything happen has its reason. I think its a blessing because, He wants me to realize that there is more that meets the eye. He made me realize that I still have hope to repent and a chance to improve myself even more. I'm so thankful of His blessings. This is not a defeat nor is it the end. its something that i like to call adventure of another beginning....until time stops for me, my only wish is...that may Allah S.W.T bless me in everything I do..Amin...:)


Back to the story, I went back to the office to hand in my badge. I told my supervisor about my exam result  and they were quite shock actually since it was hard to let me go. I told them, it's alright, I'll be back again. Insya'ALLAH.... I have yet to experience a lot of things in that organization and working has never been this wonderful. I'll be back in the middle of November this year to pursue back my practical training at the same organization. It's not goodbye. I also have yet to draw a portrait of my supervisor's family that i promised her. I'll do that later :D..Plus, i also accepted a challenge from one of my colleagues that I'll loose 10 kg and come back looking healthy & slim...(Alright, I accept that challenge!!)


Insya'ALLAH, if Allah S.W.T wills it...we will meet again...So near yet so far....but at least Allah S.W.T has given me hope & something to believe in. 
For Allah S.W.T i leave you for a while. The love that has blossomed inside my heart is a gift from Allah. S.W.T and with that I'll cherish it so that it will not get tarnished by laziness, idle, and the evil whispers of the syaitan & nafsu to bring me down. I do not want to idolize my love for you too much because its your Creator to whom that I should love more. I have a dream and with that, i want to achieve it so that one day, when i am ready, i can reach out to you. If it is our destiny,...then, i leave you in the care of Allah S.W.T. May Allah S.W.T bless our destiny together and our meeting one day. All in all, Put Our Trust In Allah S.W.T. for He is the best planner for all the provisions that we will face from here on..

"Ya Allah, jikalau dia milikku, maka tautkanlah hatinya dengan hatiku keranaMu. Jika dia bukan milikku, damaikanlah hati kami dengan segala ketentuanMu..."

till then dear readers..

Wasalamu'Alaikum...

Counting the days...

Assalamu'Alaikum & Good Day dear readers (^_^)...

In a matter of few days i'll be going for my practical training. (((O_O))). You can say that the tension does run high inside of me day by day. But, Insya'ALLAH i can overcome all obstacle.

The only thing that bothers me is i cant access my student portal (>.<) due to wrong email. They sent the email verification to a wrong email which does not even exist (My guess typing error). I contact a junior of mine who will be going for practical training in the same place as i am and she'll be contacting me again sometime this week to discuss the plan. I was hoping to go there with her...I hate going to an unknown place alone. Hey, its better to go with a company that none.

The company that i will be working during practical training happens to be where my grandfather use to work. The reason i chose that place? well....first, when i write my resume the last few months, that happens to be the first one among all the other lists of company choice to where i want to work and second....its a secret.that carries deeper meaning in which only me and Allah knows. A hint, most of it had to do with family.

The only thing that stands between me and that place is going to be the result of my supplementary exams. It's not out yet but i think the student academic affairs will post it to us next week. Even my lecturer is not sure of the exact dates because its complicated. This month is also the month of new student arrivals and a new semester so everyone in campus is busy with the freshies@freshman (first years) orientation week. My sister has three more weeks left before her final exams. I wish her and all her friends success.

I pray to Allah that may all goes well and I pass my supplementary exam. I get easily agitated as days goes by....I know I'm not as academically excel like other members of my family but i am learning. Whatever happens after this, I'll be content with Allah's will. What happens is all according to his will and one must learn to accept. There are things of what you think is good for you may not always be the best for you. What you hate sometimes are not always that bad for you. That is something that we have to dig deep within ourselves. We are given brains to think of what is right and what is wrong.

well enough said for me. Pray for me that may i pass the supplementary exams(>.<). I can't stand another semester in campus. I also want to be like everyone and move on with their lives, huuhuhuhuu....

that's all from me to you dear readers. I'll update on you guys soon. Oh, I almost forgot. Regarding for practical training, I'll be posting often. This is mainly because i may need to update on what i will do in the office plus to keep track of records..:) Life is an adventure and full of surprises especially encountering the things that are new to you. Yosh!! Gambatte!!..till then dear readers...

Wasalamu'Alaikum Warahmatullah...:)

Note: the picture below is a courtesy from a facebook friend. All credits goes to them. Job well done!!=D