At the bus stop... everyday at the bus stop

Between you and me, I've always been stuck listening to these two songs. I guess it's the song for this semester then.  whenever i got out of the hostel as walk along the pavement until i arrive at the bus stop (where the students use to wait for the bus to come) either of these songs pops in my mind and i eventually ended up listening to it on my phone. Sometimes, i also listens to it while was waiting for the bus to arrive at campus's bus station. Anyway, i kinda like em. =) 

(Romanization)

kkaman bamhaneure

nunbusin byeolbichi muldeulmyeon

nae mamsok byeol hana

sumgyeodun keudael keurijwo

I don’t know why nunmullo keudael jiwonalsurok

jeomjeom seonmyeonghaejineun keudaen.geollyo

Don’t go away gin bam jinago haessal bichulttae

nae sonkeutte geudae on.gi jeonhaejigireul

My everything My destiny

jakkuman na.ui mami keudael hyanghaneyo

nuneul tteumyeon deullyeojwoyo

nal saranghandan keu mal sweet melody

I don’t know why nunmullo keudael jiwonalsurok

jeomjeom seonmyeonghaejineun keudaen.geollyo

Don’t go away gin bam jinago haessal bichulttae

nae sonkeutte keudae on.gi jeonhaejigireul

My everything My destiny

jakkuman na.ui mami keudael hyanghaneyo

nuneul tteumyeon deullyeojwoyo

nal saranghandan keu mal sweet melody

I’m in love with you

I’ve never felt this way

keudaen anayo ireon nae sarangeul

You’ll stay in my heart

Forever more

bami deryeo.ol nae.il na gidarilkeyo

nuneul tteumyeon deullyeojwoyo

nal saranghandan keu mal sweet melody

(Translation)

When the dark night sky is painted with shiny stars

The star in my heart paints a picture of you

I don’t know why

The more I cry you away

You become more clear

Don’t go away

When the night passes and the sun rises

I hope my fingertips can feel your warmth

My everything, my destiny

My heart keeps longing for you

When you wake,

please tell me that you love me

sweet melody

I don’t know why

The more I cry you away

You become more clear

Don’t go away

When the night passes and the sun rises

I hope my fingertips can feel your warmth

My everything, my destiny

My heart keeps longing for you

When you wake,

please tell me that you love me

sweet melody

I’m in love with you

I never felt this way

Do you know how I feel?

You’ll stay in my heart

Forever more

I can’t wait for tomorrow the night will bring

When you wake,

please tell me that you love me

sweet melody

~Fated To Love You OST~

(Romanization)

ireohke joheun nal saramdeul moyeoseo utgo jeulgeowohaneunde

nunmuri heureugo honjaman apaseo neol saenggakhae

amudo mollae andwae keureohke neol swibge itneun.ge

mianhae neo eopsi nan motsal geot gateunde

meokjido jajido mothae

uljido utjido mothae keurae

ireohke joheun nal uri he.eojin nal

useo boryeohaetjiman keuge jal andwae

gwaenchaneun cheok aesseo noryeok hae bwado keuraedo nan

ireohke joheun nal

uri he.eojin nal

chama boryeo haetjiman keuge andwae

haessari neomuna balkeun nal ireohke joheun nal

ireohke apeunde neo ttaemune apa ulgo keuriwo haneunde

useul su eopseoseo honja mannamgyeojyeo neol saenggakhae

amudo molla neon wae keureohke swibge tteonatneunji

eotteohke na eopsi jal sal suga itneunji

harudo itjireul mothae

mae.il nan neoman saenggakhae keurae

ireohke joheun nal uri he.eojin nal

useo boryeohaetjiman keuge jal andwae

gwaenchaneun cheok aesseo noryeok hae bwado keuraedo nan

ireohke joheun nal

uri he.eojin nal

chama boryeo haetjiman keuge andwae

haessari neomuna balkeun nal ireohke joheun nal

(Translations)

On such a good day, people gather and enjoy themselves

Yet I’m the only one in tears, thinking of you with pain

I can’t fool everyone, forgetting you so easily

I’m sorry, I can’t live without you

Can’t eat, can’t sleep

Can’t laugh nor cry, no…

On such a good day, the days when we are apart

I tried to fake a laigh but it didn’t work

I tried hard to pretend everything’s fine, but it didn’t help

On such a good day, the days when we are apart

I tried to hold back the pain, but it didn’t work

On this sunshine-dappled day,

Such a good day

Because of you, I’m in pain like this

Crying and thinking of you

When I think of the way you left me

I can’t even smile anymore

No one knows why you could leave me so easily

How do you live withoug me?

I can’t forget you, even for a day

I think only of you every day, yes…

On such a good day, the days when we are apart

I tried to fake a laigh but it didn’t work

I tried hard to pretend everything’s fine, but it didn’t help

On such a good day, the days when we are apart

I tried hard to hold back the pain, but it didn’t work

On this sunshine-dappled day,

Such a good day…

~Doctor Stranger OST~

Some Semester Indeed....

Assalamualaikum & Good Day...

September the 2nd... wow, really that long huh. Anyways, i've been very busy with the studies and i have no time to enjoy myself. Last semester i did not do well for my exams and the bad part of it was i had to repeat two subject. Well, first semester isn't always the greatest...

New semester cam and heck these past few months have been HELL! oh... yes indeed. At least i get to finish and redeem myself with a bang. As much as i like to rant about what's going on for the past months but i'm afraid i have to cut it short. i don't like to go to the details too much in here. Anyways, this semester has been awkward yet pleasant.

My classes are still the same except that i had to repeat two subjects and which means i had to join in with the junior students class. At first it was so awkward because they look at you as if you came from another planet. I mean,  really? (-_o).... From time to time, they all got used to my presence and it was okay. they were all nice people... and i hope they stay that way. The only thing that sometimes bugs me is grouping. Well, i'm not really keen in socializing and probably that's why i'm always labeled as a lone ranger in campus... i guess. 

I still remember though.. i'm now in my 4th semester but because i repeated two subjects i can only register for only four courses since my credit hours were a little low. Somehow, it feels like diploma again. My classmates that are in the same batch as i am, well... they are nice people yet... i feel rather like an outcast whenever i'm around them. I don't mind really... i'm used to it. But, sometimes i do think that it's nice to have a company once in a while. This semester, they all went overseas for an academic trip. I didn't get to go because i did not take the subject required the same as they did. I'm happy they got home safe and sound. I'm not really keen on flying so i hope next semester's academic trip does not involve with flying. (O_O)...

And there comes another memory where we had to organize the faculty dinner party. It was a wonderful night for everyone but not for me....Our faculty dinner's theme was masquerade so everyone was required to wear a mask. I did not like the mask that my sister made for me. It was really nice of her to made it for me. i thank her but it was not necessary. In the end i did not wear it because the mask made me look like the Phantom of the Opera gone wrong. Not to mention my plus size outfit. Allah, have mercy upon me......  Everything was fine for me that night that is until someone accidentally knocked a classmate of mine's mask. it was a Darth Vader mask and oh God... the crack was big. I happen to be standing near and the last person to hold that thing. before that, i placed the mask near the reception table but someone accidentally knocked it over and it fell down. 

(Sigh)... all of us were shocked but not as shocked as i was as i saw the mess. Even if it wasn't my fault but i felt that everyone thought the fault was mine. I'm not the kind of person to run away from a problem instead i try to find a solution to overcome it. So i told him about it. he accepted my apology but it did not make me feel nice. Even if it's not my fault... i felt guilty about it anyway... I didn't really enjoy the party that night. In fact, it happen to be the worst dinner party i ever attend in my life... the worst ever. The video presentation was suppose to be the highlight of the event but truth be told, it hurts not only my own feelings but some people as well. Oh well, I don't really fit in that much with people anyway....In the end, a loner is still alone...

Despite the boring routine and the increase of loneliness in my life i still find things that i'm still able to smile about. Though life is tough.... it stills shows me it's pleasant side. I'm thankful for that. I'm content with everything. I'm not really alone because i know i still have Allah  and my family and those who i deem friends in my life. Alhamdulillah.... I thank Allah for everything... 

Final exams are coming up and i have to study in order for me to get my CGPA up again. I pray that may Allah ease everything for me and my classmates. I may not write for a while but i'll try to write as often as i can and keep you posted. Well, that's all from this writer. Till then dear readers... =)

Wasalamualaikum... =)

Welcoming September

Carrie Underwood - I'll Stand By You

I somehow got a little addicted to hearing the lyrics of this song... No matter, it does get me going when the going gets tough.... :)

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothin' you confess, could make me love you less

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you

I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now

Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you

When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You're feelin' all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you

I'll stand by you, I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Yeah

Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you

I'll stand by you
No, no, no, no, no

Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you

Gearing up for the new semester

Assalamualaikum & Good Day everyone....

First of all I'm so sorry for not posting anything  for the last few month. I've been very busy and hell yeah things does not look good from where i stand. Alhamdulillah, everything is over but....next week will begin the new semester for us degree student here. 

So far, i'm not looking forward for the new semester since my examination result did not turn out well....hurmmm... i can't argue with that because a lot has going on. Plus, to add to my misery, family problems chipped in during my final examination. I don't want to talk about it because every time I'm reminded of it my blood boils so much that i could feel my heart's about to burst in anger. 

I do have to say, I am grateful for one thing though. At least i get to have a roof on top of my head later... i hope. My situation since the last couple of month is a bit tough. My house was invested by some unwanted beings and to add the potpourri, a little bit 'hal ehwal rumah tangga' occurs too. The situation got bad and it left me and my family retreating to my grandparents house for safety. So, now i'm, let's just say temporary homeless... I just hope i can get a room at the hostel next week... i really, really need it.... I can't stand being here any longer....

I miss my old house at the kampung so much. My father refuse to fix it (which add to my rebel) and said that it's better to live here instead. It's not that i don't like staying at my grandparent's house but.... if it means being treated like trash by your own family then its better to go. Why stay when people don't want you to be there in the first place? 

I tried... tried to put up with everything in that household. Really... But if there's no cooperation among each other then its no more miss nice girl! 

I'd stop here. I'll write soon.... I just need a moment to calm myself down...
till then dear readers...

wasalam...

Picture speaks...

Assalamualaikum & Good Day...

A Whole New Life and Adventure.....

Assalamualaikum & Good Day everyone =)

Waaaahhh... its been a while since i've posted something in this little blog of mine. Actually things have been quite rough since the past two months. Heck, its been quite a ride.

On the month of march, I got an opportunity to continue my studies in Degree level. Even though the course wasn't the one i wanted but all is well. Because my application of appeal came out ratherr late, I entered the university during the second week of march. Since then, everything in my life has been rather fast paced. Believe me, if i didn't say it wasn't fast paced i'd be scribbling a lot in here by then.

My first week was hell, my third was easy but my fourth was itchy. I did not stay in the university's hostel though in fact i stayed with my sister and her friends at a rental house just above the other shop houses. A lot of the students here also stayed at this kind of place. It wasn't good but not bad either. I'm content anyway =) The campus? well, My course was at the new campus so, i now study at the new campus. Its big and i like the architecture. I felt as if i am studying in Shah Alam campus already.

The classes? Well, they're okay except for the part where the assignments came in. I have only a month to do all three assignments before the start of the first week of June. That'll be the day when things get hard because the final exams starts within that month and other common test as well.  So far, life as a Degree student have their ups and downs but I'm used to it. Being the eldest in the class really got me some reality check that i need to finish this Degree and hopefully no repeats! Amin.... (-.-).....

Oh, By the way, My parents decided to demolish our house and build a new one. So.... we're movin out! (^_^)... So many new things, new life, new home and new things to explore. I've put my past behind me... Now is the time to focus on what is important. I also want to be successful like my friends and other people. Degree life is so different and its not like Diploma or school. It's a survival of the fittest over here. Especially when you are grouped with the talented and the intelligent ones.

Anyways, i don't want to talk to much. I'll just let the pictures do all the talking. I'll write to you soon. Now, i have to get to class. My class starts at 4:30 until 6:30. I know, crazy right....the tiredness, i get that all the time eversince i came here.....well, till then dear readers, Wasalamualaikum...

First day ( this was actually inside a study room next to the library. I could not find any empty class so lepak2 here for a while la..

The panoramic view of the new youth floor of the new campus. Hmm... pretty cool i guess... :)

A visit to the old campus. Gosh i miss the place. Upon my arrival they were having a Closing Ceremony of the Co Co-curriculum Festival

I have to say, I hate heights and weak with stairs. Thank goodness there's an elevator. 

During class... No matter how boring or dull it can get, one must keep on staying awake... (((O_O)))

Ah, ha! here's a story. I took this picture while i was on the bus. Due to many passengers i had to squeeze myself in in order to catch a ride. I cannot afford to miss any because my class starts at 8.00 a.m. EVERYDAY...(-_-) I still cant imagine how are we degree students will fit in the bus when the diploma students starts their semester... Sardine giler weiiii!!!

Team building for newcomers. more like getting to know the freshmens...

The view on the bus after a long and tiring day. Actually team building was pretty okay not in a way that i imagine the boringness of the camp and all. It was worth it. Actually, that day also has its anniversary... it was actually the anniversary of my last day of practical training. So, yes... the sad one was gone and a new memory emerge.... :)

Argh!! Itchy here and itchy there. Believe me dears, the last thing you want is disease spreading all over your body when you are studying. I got reaction on my skin. At first i thought it was some sort of a skin disease so i decided to go to the clinic for some medication. It took a while for it to heal. I even had to go to the hospital for treatments. So far... not so good. It did began to disappear during the mid term break when i was at home but when i return to the university, it came back... so not liking it...(-_-'')

These are my classmates (^_^) We're having our faculty team building actually and all new students had to participate. 

game in session

Swimming in the murky water. Because i was still having reaction on my skin i did not participate in the game. Hahaha, when we got to our next pit stop, everyone smells like fish and muddy water. I nearly vomited due to the smell. Urgh...I can't take it (>.<) they smell... bau bau...heheheheheee

This is our flag. More like team banner. P/S: I drew them... ;)

Something given is something i cannot have....

Assalamualaikum & Good Day Everyone...(-_-)...

Last week, the result for the application continuation of study for UiTM degree came out. Alhamdulillah I made it! I was offered to study Degree in Health Administration in UiTM Puncak Alam Campus. Ever since I was in my semester four, i have been eyeing on that course. It's a field that's definitely suits me well. I love anything related to health and medicine but my major is more towards management and administration. So yes, this course offers both. By the time if I finish i can apply work in any hospitals, clinics, health organization or insurance company. It has been a dream of mine to work in a hospital really... :) 

....Sadly....

Something that i wanted that is already given to me is something that i can never have. You see, because the course that was offered to me is in Shah Alam, my parents sort of disapprove of me going there. I think mainly is because we don't have enough money to support me. A lot of my friends said that if i want to study away from my homeland i must have a really stable financial background.... (sigh)... Well... there goes another dream...shattered...(-.-)....

Money has always been the root of my problems. (sigh....)  Ah well... blom ada rezeki namanya. Even if my heart wanted so much to continue my study in that field, i had to turn down the offer anyway. A few days ago has been quite a torment to my mind as i am torn between my own will and my parents. If  I chose to go with my plan and accept this offer then I'll be burdening my family. 

My mother usually looks up to me to settle things right at home and take care of my younger siblings. They have their own worries and other mouths at home to feed plus to take care of. Even with backup such as scholarships I still think it's gonna be hard. A relative of mine had recently told my mom that her son had to quit studying because they could not afford to pay the study bill. It was just to high. I knew her son as we graduated on the same graduation ceremony together recently. I don't want to be a burden anymore to my parents.... ='(

I thought about it a lot and it really pains me to let it go... but i had to let it go. Even if going there and studying the course benefits me but if its a burden to my family.. then that's not good at all. My eldest sister is currently still studying degree in marketing, my little sister had just started her computer skill course and my little brother is still in school and they need help more than I do. 

I'm sad actually... because something that is given to me is something that i can never have.... 

Ya Allah... Kuatkanlah semangat dan hati ku untuk redha dgn keadaan. Gantikanlah yang telah hilang dengan yang lebih baik dan tetapkanlah hati kami dalam kesyukuran....Amin...

Not all is bad.... I believe that letting something go is sometimes a good thing. Who knows? barang kemungkinan besar Allah ada prepare something yang lagi bagus utk kita.... =) Wallahualam.... I don't want to dwell in sadness for there's so many other things to do. Look on the bright side, I still get to help my parents and take care of my family and that's a good thing. =) My parents asked me if I could switch courses. I think that's not possible but there is a chance that it might be impossible as well. X pa.. coba jak. Kalau x coba kita x kan tau.. kan?? I hope it can because the way I see it, if all goes ill, I have to turn down the offer anyway....  Well, that's all from me right now. In Shaa Allah, I try my best to write often. Till then dear readers... =)

Wasalamualaikum....

Zia - Even If It's Only a Dream (Jang Ok Jung OST)

Assalamualaikum & Good day everyone...

Somehow i can't get this song out of my head. This one's the english translation though and i do have to say i guess it's the lyrics that got me attached to it... so here goes..

 

Zia - Even If It's Only a Dream (Jang Ok Jung OST)

Though I close my eyes, I can see you because the wind tells me
Your scent softly lingers around the steps you took before
Now…

Though I miss you, I smile
Because at the tip of my hands – no, throughout my heart,
Your lingering touch makes me live
I want to see you even if it’s in my dreams so I call out to you
Where are you? Do you even know of me?
All day, I call and call out to you
Can’t you hear it? This painful love
I send my heart along with the wind
I am by your side and I am waiting
Only for you

Things you can’t control
Yes, love is like that too
I fell down so many times The scars don’t have time to heal
I want to see you even if it’s in my dreams so I call out to you
Where are you? Do you even know of me?
 
All day, I call and call out to you
Your voice lingers around me
I miss you, I miss you, your breath, those memories
They make me breathe
Again today, I live for love
 
Even if it’s in my dreams, if only we can be together
Under the same sky, just once more
If only we can be happy
 
I have nothing more to ask, even if it’s in my dreams
Can’t you hear it? This painful love
I send my heart along with the wind
I am by your side and I am waiting
Forever

A New Year...... 2014

Assalamualaikum & Good day to everyone (^_^)

Here and back again...........

It's been a while since i last updated in this blog of mine. Forgive me for not updating so long. Actually I don't have any computer or lap top with me. My sister need to use the lap top for her notes and assignments. I tried borrowing my little sister's lap top but she's not letting me borrowing them because she needs to watch all the korean drama that she had missed watching while she was still in the exams.

2013 has been a wild ride for me. Oh, I almost forgot. After all the hard work, the stresses, the good the bad and everything else... I am relive to say that i have finally graduated. (^_^) It was such a happy moment for me that i could crack smile to death. I am so relived actually because it too me a long time to get to where I am right now. To tell you the truth, i nearly could not make it to the ceremony due to some financial problems but all is well in the end. A former colleague of mine during my practical days was also graduating and we had the pleasure of taking some pictures together =D 

How do you pick up the threads of an old life when in your heart you begin to understand there is no going back....

~frodo baggins LOTR~

The last six years nothing has ever been easy. Heck, my life was never an easy one. I struggle a lot in class in order to catch up with others. I'm sometimes labeled as slow learner. At times it does hurt and yeah it did made me feel a little embarrasing but for the sake of finishing my studies and to achieve my goals, i shove all the negative comments and bad words from people aside.  Those are just trials that helps me to grow along the way. There are others that have been very helpful and i thank them from the bottom of my heart. I pray that may they all be successful people one day..=)

New year is here and what's the resolution you say? Well... Actually... i have never ever made any initiative to lose my weight. So, for this year, i really, really want to burn all the fat and hopefully i can lose some weight. Being 98 KG isn't something to be proud of. I am tired of being fat and i will be slim. (>.<) I want to lead a healthy life and be able to do many activities. Moreover, i want to help my parents. I want to be able take care of them when they're old. I want to fight the feelings and temptations of food because i love my life. 

Apart from that, i pray that may this year will be a good year for me. I have nothing to expect in life except to live in content and a life filled with happiness here in this world and the hereafter. Although its kinda late for me to wish this but still... 

Happy New year!!

My wish to all us that may this year 2014 brings all of us many great memories, happiness and success ahead

(^_________________^)

Till then dear readers.... Ciao! =)