The good the bad and everything else...

Assalamualaikum and Good day everyone(-.-,)

Sorry for not updating...huhu..buzy sangat semenjak kebelakangan nih. Anyways, things haven't been really nice lately. Apa2 pon ana tetap bersabar dengan semuanya bab Allah Maha mengetahui apa yg dilalui ana nih bukannya senang. X pe, yang penting sekarang nih ana x alih dari fokus utama ana.

LIFE IN CAMPUS & AT HOME...

Things have not gone through what i imagine but then again there are ups and downs. The course registration is already closed and time to validate it. I cannot validate my course registration due to financial problems. Me and my mother did went to KWSP the other day to settle my university fee payment but inside the validation portal it stated that i haven't paid yet. This really got me sighed all the way to class. I cannot help but turn my smile upside down. believe me, its not the first time those workers from the department did this. I just don't understand how they work. I was planning to go to the financial department again today but i'm still at home. Insha'Allah, i hope o can make it there today. The validation course will end on the fourth of July and i have to validate it before this date.

Books, I love them but then again I own no money to buy them. I'm not the kind of person to mind these things but when the lecturer announced that we're going to use new books it got me sighed as i look at my empty little purse. I don't take scholarships because i know its hard to get one and my father does not want me to take up PTPTN either. I was the only one in class that does not have the text book yet. My lecturer told me to quickly get one but the textbooks cost more than i can afford. (-_-)...Plus the quizzes and test is getting near and i still have no book to revise. its not that i don't want to photostat it from my classmates but alas, financial problems got the best of me who want to study and i'm also concern toward my classmates that wanted to study as well. It's a never mind, i'm sure in time i can manage to get one on time. Seeing my parents went up and down to search for money to pay for my expenses has already made me feel so stress. I really appreciate their help but i cannot bear to see them like this. I was though, even to think of giving up the public speaking & OB textbook and give it back to my lecturer. if i can't pay for it mind as well just give it back. My hear sank as i thought of this...as much as i love to have it, i can't possibly pay for it. when my sister lend me her money for me to buy some food i can't help but to think to use it to pay half first of the textbooks but then again i wouldn't have anything to eat for the whole week then. Even my family is having troubles to get something to eat too..i feel like i'm a burden to them..Just thinking about them when i look at the food that i bought made me feel too guilty. have they eaten? is my mother eating well? does my little brother bring his bottle of water with him to school today? AAARRRGGHHH!!! Someone please slap me!!! Focus dear one! focus!...(-___-).. Financial problems have always been my biggest worries since i was a freshman.

For what its worth, I'm thankful that i still got a place to keep a roof over my head. I thank my friends from the bottom of my heart. I still don't have a place to stay yet here in UiTM and i did send a letter along with an attachment behind it. So far, there has been no word. I don't want to be a burden to both of my friends who let me share the dorm with them. It made me feel so blessed but again, worries got inside my brain again. I don't want them to be in trouble for keeping an illegal student in the hostel. That i dread the most. there is just too much intake this year but so little place to stay. Most of the students regardless if they are junior or senior had to stay outside. Some even have to share a room with their friends. At first i really do not agree to stay with my friends because i don't want them to get into trouble but i pity my mother. She has problems regarding with her health and i don't want her to be more sick. Needless to say, i think i got the hang of it, living with other people besides my sister. I get to see the beautiful side of things and make new acquaintance. They are such wonderful people. Long ago, its hard for me to smile as the things around me is sometimes cruel. It still haunts my vision now and then but i wont make that as a barrier for me and the people around me. Syukur Alhamdulillah...

Patience is a virtue. Patience is also one of the things that sharpen up one's character. Being patience is never an easy task but it always helps to prevent bad things from happening even worse. A wise person is a person that can take control of his anger and use its patience to overcome it, if you get my meaning. People always say that life can sometimes be so cruel...I never really try to think of it that way...In fact, the cruelty of life is something that can be made as a lesson to learn. I've learned my mistakes and wished for not to go through it again...For what its worth, I'm still glad that i'm able to walk on Allah's earth. Deep inside, I knew he wants me to be happy and content, yup that's the right word. I pray that may the patience in me help me to get through all this because i know that inspite of everything, things will work out in the end..Insya'Allah.

INSYA'ALLAH...

I want to help my family...I can't think of anything else besides that. its hard for me to focus in my studies without family problems surrounding my thoughts. My mother says that if i want to help her than don't quit my studies. My sister will be graduating soon and i'm so glad that she made it through. I'm still stuck at the near end of the dark tunnel. I did though, thought about writing children's book but i don't know where to start. My novel is still ongoing but i cannot finish it because i need to focus on my studies. Insya'Allah, If Allah wills it i can finish it...the few things that i like about the things and experience around me is there's always something to write about..hehehee, with the experience and stories, i hope i whip up something that is good to read and tell...like this one, i lost track of where i misplaced my phone. As i retrace back my steps..a few minutes later i found it! the good thing was its still works fine (Now its totally damage). but the weird thing was, i found it inside the refrigerator...hahahahaa, goodness, a friend of mine says that and with that kind of thing happen i hope all the bacteria is gone...hehe..

Well, that's it for now, i have to get ready to go back to campus. My mother will probably not be the one sending me there today as she got help from my cousin to send her to work due to no fuel for her car. I guess my situation would probably be the same. Well, time to get cooking...i have to cook lunch before my mother arrives this afternoon. then we can all have lunch together(^^,)V...

I'll update soon, Insya'Allah..wslm...