Last week, the result for the application continuation of study for UiTM degree came out. Alhamdulillah I made it! I was offered to study Degree in Health Administration in UiTM Puncak Alam Campus. Ever since I was in my semester four, i have been eyeing on that course. It's a field that's definitely suits me well. I love anything related to health and medicine but my major is more towards management and administration. So yes, this course offers both. By the time if I finish i can apply work in any hospitals, clinics, health organization or insurance company. It has been a dream of mine to work in a hospital really... :)
....Sadly....
Something that i wanted that is already given to me is something that i can never have. You see, because the course that was offered to me is in Shah Alam, my parents sort of disapprove of me going there. I think mainly is because we don't have enough money to support me. A lot of my friends said that if i want to study away from my homeland i must have a really stable financial background.... (sigh)... Well... there goes another dream...shattered...(-.-)....
Money has always been the root of my problems. (sigh....) Ah well... blom ada rezeki namanya. Even if my heart wanted so much to continue my study in that field, i had to turn down the offer anyway. A few days ago has been quite a torment to my mind as i am torn between my own will and my parents. If I chose to go with my plan and accept this offer then I'll be burdening my family.
My mother usually looks up to me to settle things right at home and take care of my younger siblings. They have their own worries and other mouths at home to feed plus to take care of. Even with backup such as scholarships I still think it's gonna be hard. A relative of mine had recently told my mom that her son had to quit studying because they could not afford to pay the study bill. It was just to high. I knew her son as we graduated on the same graduation ceremony together recently. I don't want to be a burden anymore to my parents.... ='(
I thought about it a lot and it really pains me to let it go... but i had to let it go. Even if going there and studying the course benefits me but if its a burden to my family.. then that's not good at all. My eldest sister is currently still studying degree in marketing, my little sister had just started her computer skill course and my little brother is still in school and they need help more than I do.
I'm sad actually... because something that is given to me is something that i can never have....
Ya Allah... Kuatkanlah semangat dan hati ku untuk redha dgn keadaan. Gantikanlah yang telah hilang dengan yang lebih baik dan tetapkanlah hati kami dalam kesyukuran....Amin...
Not all is bad.... I believe that letting something go is sometimes a good thing. Who knows? barang kemungkinan besar Allah ada prepare something yang lagi bagus utk kita.... =) Wallahualam.... I don't want to dwell in sadness for there's so many other things to do. Look on the bright side, I still get to help my parents and take care of my family and that's a good thing. =) My parents asked me if I could switch courses. I think that's not possible but there is a chance that it might be impossible as well. X pa.. coba jak. Kalau x coba kita x kan tau.. kan?? I hope it can because the way I see it, if all goes ill, I have to turn down the offer anyway.... Well, that's all from me right now. In Shaa Allah, I try my best to write often. Till then dear readers... =)
Wasalamualaikum....
